Pain, Pain go away

Aaaah, I'm in so much pain. How much can one person take? I can't believe he did this to me and there are no consequences for him. I keep thinking of the things he did to me and the true horror of it is getting clearer and clearer. I can't cope. How did this happen? How did my life get to this? I'm trying to be positive but do you know what I don't feel like being positive today. I just want to be someone else for a day or even an hour. Just a little break from it all. It's more than 10 months on and still every time I take a step forward I take 2 huge steps back. I'm desperate for someone to come along and make it all go away but it's not happening. When will good things happen? When is it my turn for a bit of happiness? I can't even remember what it feels like to be happy. I'm so afraid I'm going to turn in to this bitter twisted person. Hat's off to anyone who has been through anything like this and actually survived and came through it intact. It's truly indescribable how absolutely heartbreaking and painful this is. I want to fall asleep and not wake up, isn't that awful that someone could hurt somebody so much that they want to die and they just go on living there life as if nothing happened. What kind of world are we living in.