Saturday, April 16, 2016

It's been a long time

It's been a long time since I've posted anything.  I have a three year old son now who is amazing! The reason I'm posting is that I've always looked at this blog as part of my therapy,  a form of healing.  I have been doing overall ok the last few years.  I suffer from anxiety still but I can manage it well enough. But lately something has changed,  I haven't been able to get a handle on her panic and anxiety.  All of a sudden I'm having away nightmares again and I constantly have that feeling of panic and tension which I haven't felt this strongly in years.  The only thing I figure is that I went back to study and was doing amazing there,  I loved it but due to cutbacks the childcare was closed down suddenly and I can no longer continue my studies.  It was very sudden and really unfair on everyone affected.  Anyway I feel like the rug was pulled from under me and it seems to have kickstarted this reaction from me.  At this stage I think the thing that started it seems to have passed but I'm still hanging on to the feelings and the panic is getting worse.  It's very frustrating,  I can't seem to switch it off!!

50 comments:

  1. I Recently wrote a piece that i hope allows you to find peace, I am a spoken word artist and i find your strength and courage inspirational. https://soundcloud.com/freespirit_ekundayo/i-am-fear

    ReplyDelete
  2. I Recently wrote a piece that i hope allows you to find peace, I am a spoken word artist and i find your strength and courage inspirational. https://soundcloud.com/freespirit_ekundayo/i-am-fear

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi, I have just come to the internet and found your blog. I was raped in Dec 2009 and am also in a similar position where I feel that I am somehow relapsing after seemingly 'getting through' the most awful and difficult time of my life. I suppose we are going to encounter these triggers to our trauma, which makes it sound simple, I know.. but it isn't. Not really sure what to say as at the moment I have no answers but I felt like I wanted to reach out & make contact. Hopefully you'll see this message (I've never replied to a blog before) and know that you are not alone in the world. Thank you for your blog. It has helped me reading it at this moment in time. Sending love and thoughts to you, wherever you are.

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  4. I was raped October 2015, and I still feel the way you do. Today, somebody made a joke about rape, and I got really upset. This is not something to joke about. It affects so many lives. It is an ongoing struggle to get through rape. I am here as many others are as well. Stay strong!

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  5. I was raped in 2009 and despite thinking that I was completely over it, there are times were I start feeling anxious and the nightmares start all over again. Part of me considers that perhaps I didn't get enough counselling but I feel like enough time has passed that I should be over it. The truth is that no matter how long ago it happened, it will always affect us and come back to haunt us. We will always be sensitive around this topic and sometimes trying to be brave and talk openly about it will still reduce us to tears, even after years have gone by. There will always be times in our lives where things are tough and we get triggered back to that point in our lives and the recovery we needed to follow as well as the fallout thereafter. It's tough to know that my perpetrators were never found and I will never feel closure because they are still out there somewhere. I am thankful to be hiv negative and count my blessings every day but it's tough to ignore the external and internal scars. Since the incident I have been able to move on and have the most amazing boyfriend, I just wish this never affected me anymore.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. im glad slut take it upthe ass while u sleep

      Delete
    2. Ignore this animal. He feels powerless and only feels good when he is hurting other people.
      All rapists are cowards. Notice it says while you sleep. He is afraid of woman who are awake and probably can t get anyone to consent to having sex with him. Why would anyone want this animal. He needs to be put in a cage.

      Delete
  6. I was raped at age 7 by my Vietnam Vet father and just found out this month he died in 2014. What a relief.

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  7. I was raped January 1st 2010. And I have only just started therapy after having a major panic attack/mental breakdown surrounding one of the caes in the media (in June). I am married and have two beautiful children, and also thought I was doing just fine. I have always trivialized what I went through, and still do to this very second. I don't ever want anyone to look at me and say that I am a rape victim or survivor. I hate those words. I would go with victim over survivor, but I hate it. I feel like by telling people, I am branded. But, simultaneously, I HAVE to tell people. I HAVE to get it out. I absolutely have to. It is such a difficult thing to reconcile. Thank you for putting your story out there and maybe eventually I will have the strength to do the same.

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    Replies
    1. I am glad you got raped. Women need to concentrate on sucking the dick and letting men suck the titty.If I could tie you up and make you breast feed me I would. RAPE FOR LIFE. MALE RIGHTS! LEGALIZE RAPE 2016!!!

      Delete
    2. wooo!!! glad to see a man standin up against bitches be hhating, YALL BE HARLOTS,philosophy of rape bitches lemme suck the tits

      Delete
  8. I am so glad you were raped Lizzie. You have given so many men something new to masterbate to. Bravo!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. liz if i put my nutz in yo mouth would you cancer check them wit yo tongue?

      Delete
    2. Your disgusting. You should invest more time in educating your ignorant self as opposed to degrading and insulting a trauma this women and many others have faced...

      Delete
    3. Trauma because she got laid? Give me a break. Sex with consent is a dick in the vagina, sex without contest is dick on the vagina. You're not special.

      Delete
  9. Hun, when you read this, please remove the selfish comments being left.
    I want to reach out to you to ask you and other survivors about how they feel about the support that is available around them? About 8 years ago I wanted to form a kind of support/motivation group for other survivors as a way to connect in a positive way, but I was so put off that I never went ahead with it and have since moved on on my own to the point that I can't remember the last time I had a flashback. I wonder if I am so disconnected that I wouldn't be able to relate to anyone anymore or help them. I've tried contacting the local rape crisis centre near me to see if they would be interested in forming a positive support/activities/befriending group...but after 2 weeks I've heard nothing from them and doubt I will do. Is this something other survivors would be interested in? - a way of meeting others who share a horrible experience, but without talking about it, rather to learn something new, or to socialise with others who naturally understand you?

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    Replies
    1. Toronto rape crisis does have group counselling but Im not exactly sure of the structure of the groups. I agree that there should be improved access to such groups.

      Delete
  10. EAST LONGMEADOW, MA (WGGB/WSHM) - There is shocking news coming out against the Kumon Franchise owner of a Kumon Math & Reading tutoring center who is now facing charges of sexual assault and rape.

    Kumon franchise owner Jimmy Chang, 32, of East Longmeadow was arrested in Manchester, CT. He is facing 12 counts of second degree sexual assault of minors.

    Back in March, the 17-year-old victim went to the Manchester, CT police department and said Chang allegedly manipulated her into a long-term sexual relationship.

    The victim reportedly told police that from 2012 to 2014, Chang would pick her up from her school or home to perform sexual favors.

    The teenager also said that at times, Chang would have her meet him at his Kumon learning center - Kumon Math and Reading Center in Longmeadow - where he would provide alcohol to her prior to sex.

    Besides being a Kumon instructor, Chang is also a youth pastor at a church in Agawam, which he and the victim both attended.

    The girl said Kumon franchisee Chang would allegedly ask her to dress like a "school girl" and meet him at that church where other sexual encounters would occur.

    According to court documents, the victim told Chang that she "wanted to wait - to save my virginity [..] as a Christian you are supposed to save your virginity. He responded 'do you really want to?'"

    During his arrest, Chang reportedly told police, "I realized I messed up." As a Kumon instructor he admitted to have taken advantage of his role at the Kumon Math & Reading center a.k.a Kumon learning center, and committed sexual crimes against the Kumon student.

    Chang appeared in court in Connecticut Tuesday where he was bonded out of jail.

    The victim's identity is not being released.

    For more details see: http://www.westernmassnews.com/story/29718919/east-longmeadow-man-arrested-on-sexual-assault-charges-in-ct

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  11. Very inspiring to read your blog. Stay strong love, your not alone! <3

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  12. Woman have sex all the time with whomever and it gives them pleasure, what difference does it make if they rape you it's all just sex. Rape victims are always on these sites being cry baby bitches like "oh my god I had sex last light like every other night but this was different because I make it so... cry cry boo hoo... give me attention because daddy never gave me any"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. To some people sex is sacred and if that sanctity is violated it takes away from them something intangible.

      Delete
  13. its been 5 months today, since that horrible night that destroyed me forever. I am Megha and i am 26 year old. I work as a business analyst in Pune and my life used to be a really good one. I come from a good family and was always pampered by them. And when i came away from my house i found a guy who did the same. It was during my MBA when I met ankit. He was my knight in the shining Armor the day I met him. We were having fun and ended up falling in love with each other to the extent that we decided we were going to marry each other. He lived in Bangalore and would come to meet me whenever he could and I would do the same. Life was heaven for me.
    But then my life had to take turn for the worst to happen. It was any like any other long awaited weekend away from office work and relaxing. I had been living in pune for 4 months now and I had made some good friends. So we decided to go to a club. I had never been drank before so when we reached there, within a few moments, it became my friend’s duty to make me drink. After saying no for a while I gave in and drank some, it was not pleasant and before I realized I was a bit tipsy but in full control of myself. We had fun, we danced, we ate and we talked. It was already 11:30 and this was totally the new to me. I had never been out so late as this was the first time I was out of my city.

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    Replies
    1. Soon we decided to call it a day and headed back to our homes. Now I was with a friend of mine and we called a cab. Rohit (a friend of a friend) decided to tag along with us as he was going in the same direction. The cab arrived and we departed. Soon when we were half way to home, my friend got a call from her boyfriend and he said he wanted to meet. She immediately stopped the cab and got out telling me she was sorry and all.
      I knew she was going to spend the night with him and anything I would say would be taken in the wrong way so I kept my mouth shut. So now it was me and Rohit in the cab and he was pretty drunk and not in a good way. I was a bit uncomfortable and but convinced myself otherwise. It was when we were on the aundh road, then suddenly the cab driver took a different route. When I asked him about it he said something about the road not being good and all. I hinted rohit that I was suspicious of the driver but he didn’t worry that much. I calmed myself as rohit was with me so I was assured that nothing bad would happen. Little did I know, what fate had planned for me. rohit started to touch me casually and started making some inappropriate jokes. His hands started to touch my thighs and my back.

      Delete
    2. Then out of the blue he said,” you are so sexy”
      I was surprised and cofused as how to react to this. I didn’t say anything. I was too scared to object. My mind was clouded by fear and I didn’t even notice that we were headed to some deserted area, an under construction building. The car stopped and the driver looked at me and said madamji aa gye aapki manzil…I was so scared that I couldn’t think scared and I turned to rohit which was a even bigger shock, he was smiling. I tried to scream and call my friends but I was silenced and my phone was switched off and thrown. The cab driver was not the ola driver I booked, he was with rohit. He planned to do this to me and roommate. She got off but I couldn’t.
      That was the day when I was raped. I died that day and I am dying from the pain till today.

      People come to me and sympathize. They ask me how am I? what should I tell them?
      My life ended. My parents who were so proud of me cried and cried. I was glad that they are with me but when their tears stopped, then came a remark from my dad, “pee k ghumegi to yahi hoga, kya kami rkhi humne teri life me jo tune ye sab b krna shuru kr dia”
      I was killed by his words. My own parents blamed my for being drunk, for being raped.

      Delete
  14. But this was not the end. Ankit was still there, the guy who loved me and wanted to marry me. The guy who was feeling my pain equally and was with me until he got over the fact that I was the victim. He said he couldn’t marry me bcoz his family wont accept it. He left me. All the love and all those promises, he broke me and went away to marry some rich girl his parents found for him.
    This was another death for me. And till date, I live with these deaths. Everyday. Like anew one. I die again and again.
    Today, I am living in delhi, working to live my life. I left my home and left everything that didn’t deserve me. But whatever I do, I still cant make this pain go away. I still die everyday.
    Maybe dad was right, maybe it was my fault, it was my fault to trust, to try to live a life, to try to be someone I wanted to be. To try to be happy.

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  15. Hey,nice content .
    I just shed my views on same topic ,if you find yourself to take your eyes through.
    21ashwini.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  16. Interesting. I actually signed on to my blog after years as well.Like you I feel like I have been doing overall ok the last few years. I got married few months back & feel like my life is moving in a positive directions. I do find recently there are nights when my husband is asleep & my mind wanders back to the days of my abuse.

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  17. Back in high school at a party in Hanover MA 2 or more boys entered a room I was passed out in and was raped by mike walendziewicz and then brian babino. people heard them talking about but nobody told me until years later. my name is Amy and if you feel ashamed and need to talk to someone.

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  18. Old bea/Amy I am just putting this out there I know there should be a safe place where this could be discussed however the internet isn’t that place, you do not know for sure you are speaking with another female...as you can read on this one blog alone seems predators are all around. Becareful!

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  19. Read my blog on rape
    http://www.broitsme.com/2018/04/rape-who-is-main-culprit.html?m=1

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  20. To anyone out there who may come across this, please know that healing is possible. Be encouraged. Never give up!
    https://youtu.be/pU6GIAHK7hY

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  21. On Monday the 11th of June was the day that my life was shattered in to pieces. Everything I had was gone. My daily routine, gone. My confidence, my love and recently I lost all hope for justice. The day it happened it was reported they took the evidence, the forensics and two weeks ago to this day I found out that there wasn’t enough evidence to take a guilty man to court. The police knew he was guilty but the people who gave statements on his behalf lied and now I’m left. I’m left grieving, I’m left fighting to get through the days, I’m left to deal with this on my own. My thoughts run wild everyday because how how can you live a normal life when what’s happened to you broke everything you ever made, ever built. I was becoming a fighter in kickboxing but how how do you use self defence on the person that taught you it in the firs. Place. How do you take yourself away from the friends and family you made from being a part of an organisation that made you feel like home. How? How it any of this possible? How do I get my life back? How do I feel safe or comfortable with in my own home? Even if I’ve moved away from the town I’ve grown up in just to feel a little safer. It’s eating me up and I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t. My life was so great before all of this I was fit, I was healthy, I worked and I lived In a town that I knew pretty much everyone. Where I loved to go for bike rides, walks and runs along the seafront and now I can’t even step outside of my house without second questioning if it’s worth it.

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  22. 29-31 Oktober 2018 agen S1288POKER memberikan Freechip 25k untuk semua member jadi ayo bergabung !!!HOKI KAMU ADA DISINI BURUAN !!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. The Indian Niggers have a way to stop rape !

    https://dindooohindoo.page.tl/Vagina-Locks%2CRapes-%26-Dogs-and-Apes.htm

    It is called Vagina Locks

    They place steel and alumunium locks on the vagina


    http://www.outlookindia.com/news/article/man-arrested-for-keeping-wifes-private-parts-locked/769191
    http://uptownmagazine.com/2012/08/man-puts-an-actual-lock-and-key-on-his-wifes-vagina/

    ReplyDelete
  24. Rape is part of Religion and Culture !

    Sample the Dindoo Hindooo Religion

    https://dindooohindoo.page.tl/Vagina-Locks%2CRapes-%26-Dogs-and-Apes.htm

    If she should not grant him his desire, he should bribe her. If she still does not grant him his desire, he should hit her with a stick or with his hand, and overcome her, saying: ‘With power, with glory I take away your glory!’ Thus she becomes inglorious - id.est., raped ! Brihadâranyaka Upanishad VI:4:6. 7.

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  25. Yo, What the fuck? A white man fucking kills a women in an extremely punishing way, (very sick and sadistic) and THEN rapes her? WTF!!?!?!?

    Yo, I thought I was bad...You ain't see shit till you see this shit...OMFG!

    Pray for that woman yo!

    http://www.mediafire.com/file/sernamfq0m3ta2v/Extreme-R%2Ap%2A-Murder-Video.zip/file

    Password: rmv

    ReplyDelete
  26. Neplaee Goo-r-khas have a way to overcome rape ! It is by dildos and urine farming !

    These cowards of Jalianwala !

    The word Gurkha comes from a Himalayan field mouse (Apodemus gurkha) ! What are these people ?

    https://dindooohindoo.page.tl/Educating-the-Goo_r_kha–Urine-Farmers.htm

    Nepalee Goo-rkhaas, buy “Dildos for their wives”

    The Nepalee Goo-r-khas, “buy dildos for their frustrated vagina wives”, before they are off to East Asia, to “clean toilets and and pimp their daughters and sisters”!


    http://thehimalayantimes.com/nepal/sex-toys-gaining-popularity-in-kavre/

    “Human Urine farming” – Vedic style – Dindooo Hindoo Nepali Goo-r-khas

    The “Innovation” of these Nepali Goo-r-khas – “urine farming”, for agriculture – “proximity with toilet cleaning” !

    http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/farmers-in-nepal-use-urine-to-boost-crop-yields/

    ReplyDelete
  27. Rape best practices in Indonesia

    Rape by Ustads of little kiddies - dindooohindoo

    "Whoever is caught doing the crime of Lut's people, you should kill the one who sodomizes and the one who lets it be done to him.”

     The nation of Bogus pigs is facing a child sex abuse epidemic

    http://www.thejakartapost.com/news/2015/12/17/child-sexual-abuse-critic-level-minister-says.html

     The Rate is 33 cents

    http://www.thejakartapost.com/news/2012/02/09/notorious-cleric-reported-alleged-sexual-abuse.html

     Oral Sex therapy

    http://www.thejakartaglobe.com/archive/koran-teacher-admits-molesting-13-students-over-last-two-years/540443/
    http://www.thejakartaglobe.com/news/christian-minister-arrested-in-child-molestation-case/

     Rape after Koran Recital

    http://www.thejakartapost.com/news/2014/11/09/religious-teacher-tasikmalaya-admits-molesting-27-

     Female teacher rapes kiddies

    http://www.thejakartapost.com/news/2014/05/14/female-teacher-reported-molestation.html

     25 cents

    http://www.thejakartaglobe.com/archive/koran-teacher-admits-molesting-13-students-over-last-two-years/540443/


    And then the "Nassara and the Dindoo Hindoos", also join the party

     Dindoo Hindoo Lord Krishna makes "Muslim women perform fellatio" on him



    http://www.thejakartaglobe.com/archive/three-more-women-accuse-anand-krishnan-of-sexual-abuse/

     Christian Pastor "raping kiddies"



    http://www.thejakartaglobe.com/news/christian-minister-arrested-in-child-molestation-case/

    ReplyDelete
  28. What is the story of the evolution of the dress sense of an Indian ?

    where would the Indians be w/o the Mughals and Greeks and Brits ?

    The Mughals civilised the Hindoo ! Hindoo women used to move around top less with just a triangle shaped loin cloth and used to pierce their breasts !

    Babar & the Mughals civilised the Hindoos ! Read this verse from the Ramayana - when Ravana describes Seeta ! dindooohindoo ! This will nail the contribution of Mughals to Hindooism and India !

    http://www.valmikiramayan.net/aranya/sarga46/aranya_46_frame.htm

    “Your hips are beamy, thighs burly akin to elephant’s trunks, & these two breasts of yours that are ornamented with best jewellery are rotund, rubbing &bumping each other, &they are swinging up & up, their nipples are brawny &jutting out, & they are smoothish like palm-fruits, thus they are covetable for they are beautiful.

    “Oh, allurer, your smile is alluring, teeth are alluring, &your eyes allure, oh, beauty, your waist is palmful, your hair velvety, your breasts are jostling, &you rob my soul as a spate robs riverbank. [3-46-21, 22a]

    It will be obvious EVEN to the AG of the Indian Government, that Seeta was topless &wearing a loincloth - and prancing her wares in front of Ravana. THE MUGHALS TAUGHT THE HINDOOS TO WEAR CLOTHES & DO PROPER ABLUTIONS !

    You have to give credit when and where it is due

    ReplyDelete
  29. This is Oral Sex in the Ramayana !

    Sita performs Fellatio on Ravana ! Ravana was an African and deeply dis-satisfied with her husband !

    The Satanic Verse is that Ravana made Seeta perform fellatio ! dindooohindoo !

    Book III : Aranya Kanda – The Forest Trek

    Chapter [Sarga] 52

    तस्यास्तत्सुनसं वक्त्रमाकाशे रावणाङ्कगम्।

    न रराज विना रामं विनालमिव पङ्कजम्।।3.52.18।।

    Sita’s face with her beautiful nose on Ravana’s lap and not on Rama’s, shone no more like a lotus without its stalk.

    NOTE – SITA’S NOSE WAS IN RAVANA’S LAP ! WHAT WAS HER NOSE DOING IN RAVANA;’S LAP ? THE NOSE IS NEAR THE MOUTH ! IT IS FELLATIO !

    बभूव जलदं नीलं भित्त्वा चन्द्र इवोदितः।

    सुललाटं सुकेशान्तं पद्मगर्भाभमव्रणम्।।3.52.19।।

    शुक्लैस्सुविमलैर्दन्तै प्रभावद्भिरलङ्कृतम्।

    तस्यास्तद्विमलं वक्त्रमाकाशे रावणाङ्कगम्।।3.52.20।।

    रुदितं व्यपमृष्टास्रं चन्द्रवत्प्रियदर्शनम्।

    सुनासं चारुताम्रोष्ठमाकाशे हाटकप्रभम्।।3.52.21।।

    Sita’s face looked beautiful with her smooth forehead, shining hair and spotless complexion like the inside of a lotus, with clean, white, shining teeth, a nice nose and lovely red lips. She was continuously weeping and wiping her tears. Her face which was pleasing like the Moon on the lap of Ravana appeared as though the Moon was rising through dark clouds.

    NOTE THE FELLATIO POSE – WHITE TEETH AND RED LIPS ! NOTE THE RAVANA TONE – MOON RISING THROUGH DARK CLOUDS ! THE CLIMACTIC EJACULATION !

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  30. Hindoos are squeamish about the rape of Seeta Maiya.The fact is that Seeya Maiya was raped by Ravana and she performed fellatio on Ravana !

    Hindoo poetry has a poetic way of describing rape - as we will see later.dindooohindoo

    Seeta herself states in the Yuddha Kanda that she was banged by Ravana

    PHASE 1 - RAMA OPENLY TELLS SEETA MAIYA THAT SHE MUST HAVE BEEN FUCKED BY RAVANA

    Book VI : Yuddha Kanda - Book Of War
    Chapter [Sarga] 115

    कः पुमांस्तु कुले जातह् स्त्रियं परगृहोषिताम् |
    तेजस्वी पुनरादद्यात् सुहृल्लेख्येन चेतसा || ६-११५-१९

    "Which noble man, born in an illustrious race, will take back a woman who lived in another's abode, with an eager mind?"

    न हि त्वां रावणो दृष्ट्वो दिव्यरूपां मनोरमाम् |
    मर्षयेत चिरं सीते स्वगृहे पर्यवस्थिताम् || ६-११५-२४

    "Seeing you, who are endowed with a beautiful form and attractive to the sense, detained for long in his abode, Ravana could not have endured your separation."

    PHASE 2 - SEETA HERSELF ADMITS THAT SHE WAS DRY FUCKED BY RAVANA - BUT WHILE SHE WAS LAID - HER HEART HAD ONLY RAMA THE LIMPDICK ! THESE ARE THE WORDS OF SEETA MAIYA !

    Book VI : Yuddha Kanda - Book Of War
    Chapter [Sarga] 116

    यद्यहं गात्रसंस्पर्शं गतास्मि विवशा प्रभो |
    कामकारो न मे तत्र दैवं तत्रापराध्यति || ६-११६-८

    "O lord! It was not my willfulness, when I came into contact with the person of Ravana. I was helpless. My adverse fate was to blame on that score."

    मदधीनं तु यत्तन्मे हृदयं त्वयि वर्तते |
    पराधीनेषु गात्रेषु किं करिष्याम्यनीश्वरा || ६-११६-९

    "My heart, which was subservient to me, was abiding in you. What could I do, helpless as I was, with regard to my limbs which had fallen under the sway of another?"

    ReplyDelete
  31. PHASE 3 - THE CONCLUSIVE PROOF OF SEETA'S RAPE 30000 FEET IN THE SKY !

    THE HINDU SANSKRIT POETRY OF RAPE ! dindooohindoo

    Book III : Aranya Kanda - The Forest Trek
    Chapter [Sarga] 52

    उद्धूतेन च वस्त्रेण तस्याः पीतेन रावणः |
    अधिकम् परिबभ्राज गिरिः दीप इव अग्निना || ३-५२-१५

    When her ochreish silk sari's upper fringe is upheaved by air onto to Ravana, Ravana looked blazing like a mountain set ablaze, muchly and overly. [3-52-15]

    NOTE - SEETA'S "UPPER FRINGE SARI" (wHICH COVERS HER BREASTS) IS "UPHEAVED ON TO RAVANA".RAVANA LOVED SEETA'S BREASTS - AS WE READ IN THE ARANYA KANDAM BEFORE.

    तस्याः परम कल्याण्याः ताम्राणि सुरभीणि च |
    पद्म पत्राणि वैदेह्या अभ्यकीर्यन्त रावणम् - यद्वा -
    - च्युतानि पद्म पत्राणि रावणम् समावाकिरन् - || ३-५२-१६

    Reddish and scented lotus-petals adorning that highly auspicious Seetha have slithered, but again upheaved by air they are bestrewn on Ravana. [3-52-16]

    NOTE - WHILE RAVANA IS BANGING SEETA - THE PETALS THAT SEETA WORE ARE NOW ON RAVANA ! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN ? HOW CAN THE AIR PLACE THE PETALS AND THE UPPER SAREE OF SEETA ON RAVANA ? IT AIN'T MAGIC ! IT IS SIMPLE SEX ON THE LAP !

    तस्याः कौशेयम् उद्धूतम् आकाशे कनक प्रभम् |
    बभौ च आदित्य रागेण ताम्रम् अभ्रम् इव आतपे || ३-५२-१७

    Upper fringe of Seetha's silk sari with golden glitter is upheaved in the sky, and with the reddish hue of sun in red heat of midday it beamed forth like a reddish cloud. [3-52-17]

    NOTE - THIS VERSE MEANS THAT RAVANA "REMOVED" SEETA MAIYA'S SAREE AND SHE WAS "STARK NAKED".A reddish cloud is acceptable either in morning or in evening but not in midday since it is a bad omen. A BAD OMEN FOR SEETA MAIYA

    सा पद्म पीता हेम आभा रावणम् जनक आत्मजा |
    विद्युत् घनम् इव आविश्य शुशुभे तप्त भूषणा || ३-५२-२४

    Seetha, the daughter of Janaka, with a complexion that is goldenly yellowish in the tinge of a lotus, moreover with her ornaments of purified gold, flashed like a lightning possessed in a dark-cloud, when that stonehearted Ravana possessed her. [3-52-24]

    NOTE - RAVANA "POSSESSED SEETA MAIYA"

    तरु प्रवाल रक्ता सा नील अंगम् राक्षस ईश्वरम् |
    प्राशोभयत वैदेही गजम् कक्ष्या इव कांचनी || ३-५२-३०

    She that Vaidehi who is so delicate like reddish leaflets of trees made that blackish bodied lord of demons, Ravana, well and truly lambent, herself becoming a golden girdle girded around the elephant like Ravana.

    NOTE - LAMBENT MEANS HAPPY AND SMILING AND SEETA IS LIKE A GIRDLE CLASPING THE ELEPHANT ORGAN OF RAVANA

    IT IS DUE TO THE ABOVESAID RAPE OF SEETA MAIYA THAT THE GODS "SHUDDERED"

    Book III : Aranya Kanda - The Forest Trek
    Chapter [Sarga] 52

    सुप्रवेपित गात्राः च बभूवुः वन देवताः || ३-५२-४१
    विक्रोशन्तीम् दृढम् सीताम् दृष्ट्वा दुःखम् तथा गताम् |

    On seeing Seetha who is undergoing anguish in that way the sylvan deities physically shuddered in a worst way. [3-52-41b, 42a]

    BUT IS IT RAPE ?

    SEETA WAS A LONELY SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED WOMAN !

    SHE GOT LOVE,SEX AND RESPECT ONLY FROM RAVANA !

    RAMA WAS AN IMPOTENT,COWARD AND A GAY PANSY !

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  32. This is Oral Sex in the Ramayana !

    Sita performs Fellatio on Ravana ! Ravana was an African and deeply dis-satisfied with her husband !

    The Satanic Verse is that Ravana made Seeta perform fellatio ! dindooohindoo !

    Book III : Aranya Kanda - The Forest Trek

    Chapter [Sarga] 52

    तस्यास्तत्सुनसं वक्त्रमाकाशे रावणाङ्कगम्।

    न रराज विना रामं विनालमिव पङ्कजम्।।3.52.18।।

    Sita's face with her beautiful nose on Ravana's lap and not on Rama's, shone no more like a lotus without its stalk.

    NOTE - SITA'S NOSE WAS IN RAVANA'S LAP ! WHAT WAS HER NOSE DOING IN RAVANA;'S LAP ? THE NOSE IS NEAR THE MOUTH ! IT IS FELLATIO !

    बभूव जलदं नीलं भित्त्वा चन्द्र इवोदितः।

    सुललाटं सुकेशान्तं पद्मगर्भाभमव्रणम्।।3.52.19।।

    शुक्लैस्सुविमलैर्दन्तै प्रभावद्भिरलङ्कृतम्।

    तस्यास्तद्विमलं वक्त्रमाकाशे रावणाङ्कगम्।।3.52.20।।

    रुदितं व्यपमृष्टास्रं चन्द्रवत्प्रियदर्शनम्।

    सुनासं चारुताम्रोष्ठमाकाशे हाटकप्रभम्।।3.52.21।।

    Sita’s face looked beautiful with her smooth forehead, shining hair and spotless complexion like the inside of a lotus, with clean, white, shining teeth, a nice nose and lovely red lips. She was continuously weeping and wiping her tears. Her face which was pleasing like the Moon on the lap of Ravana appeared as though the Moon was rising through dark clouds.

    NOTE THE FELLATIO POSE - WHITE TEETH AND RED LIPS ! NOTE THE RAVANA TONE - MOON RISING THROUGH DARK CLOUDS ! THE CLIMACTIC EJACULATION !

    ReplyDelete
  33. hi! i don't know if you'll see this anytime soon, but your blog is truly inspiring to me. i'm 15, and i am finding it really difficult to grasp the idea that i was raped. i wish there was someone that i could talk to that understands what is happening and how rape affects basically all aspects of your life. i don't know where to look for that, but going to your earlier writing really helps me understand. it puts into words exactly how i am feeling. also, your more recent posts are truly moving. i'm feeling so so helpless right now, but reading that you seem to have your life together again makes me so happy for you. you fill me with hope. i'm sure much has changed in the past four years for you. i hope your anxiety is much better now. i hope you and your family are happy and healthy. thank you so much for sharing your story. i appreciate you so much.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Y hang a rapist ? Part 1

    The Hindoos just hung 4

    https://www.indiatoday.in/india/story/nirbhaya-gang-rape-murder-convicts-executed-hanged-delhi-tihar-jail-1657649-2020-03-20

    Just because he killed the victim ? The killing was due to the fear of the rapits and their illiteracy.The Killng was due to the fear of discovery !

    The Hindoo society and faith is responsible for rape. They hanged these boys to HIDE THE COLLECTIVE GUILT of the Hiindoo race and Hindoo nation.dindooohindoo

    Rape is in the DNA of the Hindoos !

    The Hindoo Gods - Shiva,Indra,Brahma,Vishnu were all rapists.Brahma raped and marrod his daughter.Indra was cursed by the raped , to have a 1000 vaginas on his body.

    Shiva was cursed by the raped victim,to have his organ worshipped. Durga and Kali used to have sex with cadavers - necro.That is rape without informed consent.
    dindooohindoo

    So Rape, is a path to evolution and redemption in Hindooism.

    Case 1 - Rape is part of Hindooism

    The Genius of the Upanishads

    If she should not grant him his desire, he should bribe her. If she still does not grant him his desire, he should hit her with a stick or with his hand, and overcome
    her, saying: ‘With power, with glory I take away your glory!’ Thus she becomes inglorious – id.est., raped ! Brihadâranyaka Upanishad VI:4:6. 7.

    Case 2 What does a woman mean when she says No-No-No !

    Sample the Rape Best practice of Krishna ! The Nirbhaya men tried the same trick -but the girl did not get it. What is the dignity of a Hindu women in Hindoo
    Scriptures !

    Context

    While Krishna was “kissing swarms of glowing nubile women”, Radhe became most beloved for his joy – like “jasmine for a bee”.

    The Poetry

    Krishna “looked longingly”, his face turned back, The border of his garment held by his friend the forest earth He recalled Radhe’s “No! No! No!” while “he loosened
    her skirt knot”, Her syllables marked by her confusion, Her body wondrous in fear of love, her words barely intelligible.

    “Falling on her breasts’ firm tips” Radhe was like a laden kadamba tree, As tears were strewn by her “endless sighing and trembling gait”

    Case 3 - Rapes by Hindoo Gods

    Nirbhaya rapists merely followed the Hindoo Gods

    Sage Atri – As Shiva,Indra and Vishnu , “raped his wife Anasuya” Sage Gautama – As Indra “raped his wife Ahilya”, by stealth he said the following from the Skanda
    PuranaV.iii.136.2-16
    O beautiful la dy of uncensured features, resort to me, the king of Devas, “Sport about with me”. What will you do with this Brahmana “who has become lean and
    emaciated”, due to his “over- zealousness for purity and conventional rites and austerities” and Vedic studies

    What did the Aswins say before they raped the Brahmin Sukanya

    Mahabharata 3.123 “O divinely beautiful damsel, do thou, forsaking Chyavana accept one of us for husband. It behoveth thee not to spend thy youth fruitlessly…”

    ReplyDelete
  35. Y Hang a rapist - Part 2

    Case 4 Best Practice 1 – The Hindoo Gods had a POETIC way of rape.dindooohindoo

    Post Rape they composed rape poetry for the rape victim - which is what the Nirbhaya rapists did not do.

    This is Indra Once, knowing that Gautama was away, Indra (called Thousand Eyes), Saci’s husband, took on the likeness of the sage, and said to Ahalya: "‘Men pursuing
    their desire do not wait for the proper season, O you , who have a perfect body. Making love with you: that’s what I want. That waist of yours is lovely.’

    What does Ahilya say And then, her inner being satisfied, she said to the god, ‘ I’m satisfied, king of the gods.Go quickly from here. O giver of honor, lover,
    protect yourself and me.’ And how does Indra “describe his sexual encounter “? And Indra smiled and said to Ahalya, ‘Woman of lovely hips, I am very content. I’ll
    go the way I came.’ Thus after making love, he came out of the hut made of leaves.

    Case 5

    Hindooosthan is the Impotentica Capital of the world ! Impotents with limpdicks ! That leads to rape

    https://www.outlookindia.com/magazine/story/india-is-the-impotence-capital-of-the-world/239548

    People ask Y ? It is simple ! Hindoos are the sons of Rama ! Rama was an Impotent Gay Pansy – as per Seeta ! And the proof is the limpdick of Rama !

    This is Hanooman describing the UNDERSIZED LIMPDICK VIRILE MEMBRANE OF RAMA ! (Don’t ask how did Hanooman know)

    Book V : Sundara Kanda – Book Of Beauty Chapter [Sarga] 35 verse 18. “He has three folds in the skin of his neck and belly. He is depressed at three places
    (viz. the middle of his soles, the lines on his soles and the nipples). He is undersized at four places (viz. the neck, membran virile…….)

    Case 6

    Y are Hindos compulsive rapists ? Is that a Joke ? dindooohindoo Y does Manusrmiti say that Dindoo Hindoo women are harlots ? The Nirbhaya rapists followed Manu

    “Good looks do not matter to them, nor do they care about youth; ‘A man!’ they say, and enjoy sex with him, whether he is good-looking or ugly.

    By running after men like whores, by their fickle minds. Knowing that their very own nature is like this, as it was born at the creation by the Lord of Creatures
    (Prajapati),a man should make the utmost effort to guard them.

    The bed and the seat, jewellery, lust, anger, crookedness, a malicious nature, and bad conduct are what Manu assigned to women.

    There is no ritual with Vedic verses for women; this is a firmly established point of law” — Manusmrti 9:14-18.

    This is represented in the treatment of Hindoo women in Rajasthan,Gujarat and Goa

    As per some figures 29,951 cases of ‘Maitri Karar‘ (Friendship Contract) are registered in the District Collectors office in Ahmedabad.”

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/drishtikone/2013/01/maitri-karar-gujarati-social-custom-of-keeping-mistresses-by-circumventing-hindu-marriage-act/
    http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/jaipur/Kids-most-vulnerable-to-abuse-due-to-Nata-pratha/articleshow/56263686.cms
    https://scroll.in/article/820030/uniform-civil-code-the-goa-family-law-the-bjp-holds-up-as-ideal-permits-polygamy-for-hindus

    ReplyDelete
  36. In Hindooism,bestiality is a part of life.They say that it stops human rape ! That is logic ! Hindoos prefer Cows - it is their favorite bestial animal - and then., there is the goat.

    This is a practice of Brahma - the Hindoo Creator God.He was a perpetual motion bestiality machine ? dindooohindoo

    The Proof

    "That first being (Prajapati) became afraid; therefore one becomes afraid when one is alone. Then he thought to himself: 'Of what should I be afraid, when there is no one but me?'

    So his fear left him, for what was he going to be afraid of? One is, after all, afraid of another. He found no pleasure at all; so one finds no pleasure when one is alone.

    He wanted to have a companion. Now he was as large as a man and a woman in close embrace. So he split his body into two, giving rise to husband (pati) and wife (patni). ...

    He (Prajapati) copulated with her, and from their union human beings were born. She then thought to herself: 'After begetting me from his own body, how could he copulate with me? I know -- I'll hide myself.'

    So she became a cow. But he became a bull and copulated with her. From their union cattle were born. Then she became a mare, and he a stallion; she became a female donkey, and he, a male donkey.

    And again he copulated with her, and from their union one-hoofed animals were born. Then she became a female goat, and he, a male goat; she became an ewe, and he, a ram.

    And again he copulated with her, and from their union goats and sheep were born. In this way he created every male and female pair that exists, down to the very ants. ...

    Then he churned like this and, using his hands, produced fire from his mouth as from a vagina. As a result the inner sides of both these -- the hands and the mouth -- are without hair, for the inside of the vagina is without hair." -- Brhadaranyaka Upanisad 1:4:2-6.

    ReplyDelete
  37. This is Y Nixon espoused his Gospel

    Allow me to present the words of the epitome of intellectual genius,in the American Presidency – His Excellency,Richard Nixon.dindooohindoo

    Gospel of Nixon – Chapter 1 Verse 1

    Nixon also calls Indians “most sexless”, “nothing” and “pathetic”, according to the newly declassified White House tapes

    Nixon says to Kissinger “To me, they turn me off. How the hell do they turn other people on, Henry? Tell me.”

    May I present the words of Babar the Great in Babarnama “Hindustan is a place of little charm. There is no beauty in its people, no graceful social intercourse, no poetic talent or understanding, no etiquette, nobility or manliness”

    I would request the reader to note the similarity between Babar and Nixon !

    Gospel of Nixon – Chapter 1 Verse 2

    In November 1971, in the middle of a discussion about India-Pakistan tensions with Kissinger and Secretary of State William Rogers, after Rogers mentioned reprimanding Gandhi, the president blurted, “I don’t know how they reproduce!”

    Nixon was right.This is Hanooman describing the UNDERSIZED VIRILE MEMBRANE OF RAMA !

    Book V : Sundara Kanda –Chapter 35 of the Valmiki Ramayana,Verse 18

    “He is undersized at four places (viz. the neck, membran virile, the back and the shanks)”

    Seeta Maiya also doubted Rama’s virility and sexuality !

    Book II : Ayodhya Kanda – Book Of Ayodhya – Chapter 30

    किम् त्वा अमन्यत वैदेहः पिता मे मिथिला अधिपः | राम जामातरम् प्राप्य स्त्रियम् पुरुष विग्रहम् || २-३०-३

    “What my father, the king of Mithila belonging to the country of Videha, think of himself having got as so-in-law you, a woman having the form of a man?”

    May I conclude by quoting the Great Henry Kissinger,as under:

    Kissinger had said Indians are “superb flatterers” and “are masters at flattery. They are masters at subtle flattery. That’s how they survived 600 years. They suck up — their great skill is to suck up to people in key positions.”

    Rama said the same about the Brahmins who were the Diplomats who were dealing with Kissinger and Nixon !

    कच्चिन् न लोकायतिकान् ब्राह्मणामः तात सेवसे |
    अनर्थ कुशला ह्य् एते बालाः पण्डित मानिनः || २-१००-३८

    38. I hope are not honouring the materialistic brahmins, My dear brother! These men are skilled in perverting the mind, ignorant as they are and thinking themselves to be learned.”

    धर्म शास्त्रेषु मुख्येषु विद्यमानेषु दुर्बुधाः |
    बुद्धिमान् वीक्षिकीम् प्राप्य निरर्थम् प्रवदन्ति ते || २-१००-३९

    39. “Reaching to their logical acumen, these men of perverted intellect preach meaninglessly, in the presence of eminent books on righteousness.”

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