I'm finally crying for the first time since it happened, I'm really crying. I had a therapy session today and had a breakthrough and then I read something that just touched me and since I haven't been able to stop crying.
I'm crying for everything, for what he did. This really did happen to me, it's real it happened. Oh my god it happened. I'm crying for what was stolen from me that night, I'm crying for the me I lost. I'm crying for the pain I've been going through for the last 7 months. I'm crying for the horror I went through that night and for the last 7 months, all this time blaming myself, hating myself when I shouldn't have been. I'm finally feeling something other than self hatred.
I can't stop crying and it's such a relief but heartbreaking at the same time. I'm no longer numb. Oh god this happened and it happened to me. It really happened.
Crying is the best thing that you can do for yourself right now. You have a right to your tears. Tears are healing. So is getting angry but that will come later. Letting go of denial is good.
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