Wednesday, April 13, 2011

It's all sinking in

A lot has changed in the last week, I've moved home to my parents temporarily for 3 months because I'm not coping. I'm off work so I can concentrate on getting myself back to normal. I'm finding it quite difficult, I think since yesterday the decision of the DPP has started to sink in with me.

I'm overwhelmed with sadness. I feel like a victim all over again and I'm just heartbroken and confused by the decision not to prosecute. I don't know how I'm supposed to move past it and I can't stop thinking about how he has won all over again.

I'm finding it hard to find the words at the moment. I just don't understand how any of this has happened. He has destroyed my life and he just gets away with it. He's free now to do it to someone else. I just can't get my head around it. It's all too much.


  1. Sending you prayers and Reiki for comfort. Wish I could do more to ease your pain.

  2. My heart goes out to you. There is just no way to understand what has happened. That I was never able to bring my rapist to justice still angers me. Know that you are not alone. Best. Brad

  3. Anger is not a bad thing to be feeling at this point. I have often likened the experience of rape to that of the loss of a loved one. In fact, that's what it is: you have lost a loved one--your former carefree, pre-rape self. As such, you can expect to experience the classic 7 stages of grief. Anger is stage #3. Don't be afraid of it. You have EVERY RIGHT to be angry.