Sunday, February 6, 2011

Letter to myself

Dear Me,

I'm sorry your feeling so low today, I'm sorry I put you in a vulnerable situation that night and now you are hurting and broken. I'm sorry you feel like you deserve it and I'm sorry you blame yourself. I hope you don't always hate yourself and that you will someday get past the pain your in. I hope that you get some justice and that the DPP decide to prosecute him. I'm sorry your muscles are killing you from being so tense and that you are now grinding your teeth in your sleep. I'm sorry that your life has changed so much and that you are struggling to make it through. I'm sorry you feel so alone and desperate. I'm this has happened to you and I'm sorry for putting you through this. 

I hope some day you will forgive yourself and be kind to yourself again. I wish I could build a time machine and take back that night but I can't. 

Love Me x

1 comment:

  1. I love this post. I think I will do the same thing. It would be so helpful to be able to talk to myself in the 3rd person - convince myself I am ok.

    I have read through your blog, and while a survivor or chidhood sexual abuse, I can relate to many of the things you write - especially the non-sleeping.

    I wish you much success in your process - know it's not your fault and there is a community out here to support you. Keep writing - it helps.