Wednesday, June 22, 2011
I did my homework
My T asked me to write a letter to my rapist and bring it in to our next session which is tomorrow. I put it off all week but I finally did it this evening. The thought of doing it scared me, I felt like a child being asked to face the monster under their bed. Now that I have it done I just feel exhausted. I resent having to go in to therapy to talk about it, I shouldn't have to. This shouldn't have happened! He should not have gotten away with it. I should have had my chance to face him for real and he should have been put in jail for what he did to me, for what he is still doing to me. When will all this end? Tell me it's going to get easier soon? I've a tension pain in my jaw, I haven't had that in a while and I'm back to grinding my teeth in my sleep. I need to get a mouth guard before my teeth fall out. I already need a million fillings. The impact this has had on me physically always surprises me. Hope I sleep tonight.