Monday, June 13, 2011

Pain, Pain go away

Aaaah, I'm in so much pain. How much can one person take? I can't believe he did this to me and there are no consequences for him. I keep thinking of the things he did to me and the true horror of it is getting clearer and clearer. I can't cope. How did this happen? How did my life get to this? I'm trying to be positive but do you know what I don't feel like being positive today. I just want to be someone else for a day or even an hour. Just a little break from it all. It's more than 10 months on and still every time I take a step forward I take 2 huge steps back. I'm desperate for someone to come along and make it all go away but it's not happening. When will good things happen? When is it my turn for a bit of happiness? I can't even remember what it feels like to be happy. I'm so afraid I'm going to turn in to this bitter twisted person. Hat's off to anyone who has been through anything like this and actually survived and came through it intact. It's truly indescribable how absolutely heartbreaking and painful this is. I want to fall asleep and not wake up, isn't that awful that someone could hurt somebody so much that they want to die and they just go on living there life as if nothing happened. What kind of world are we living in.


  1. Hat's off to you because even though you don't realise it, you are surviving! x

  2. I am a male. I was raped and molested when I was 8 years of age by 17 year old boy from the neighborhood. I know the pain all to well.
    I have a book coming called From Molested to Majestic 7/4/2011. My blog is

  3. You've expressed what I have said to myself. Reading this makes me aware of how people share so much in common. I am thinking/feeling exactly the same things- I am fighting hard so not to be destroyed by this crime. It seems like this crime stays with people& this scares me. The bad days are truly bad. Thank you for sharing, it is a truly horrible crime. I know I will feel the same if he gets away with it without charge. I will be utterly devastated. However, my heeling is not based on what happens to that scum. Being arrested & on bail knowing he cannot harass me, try to make me withdraw the truth is something but not justice. I don't believe that justice will be served. What a world indeed where these low life human beings get away with this crime. All the best to you.